What were you like as a child?

Well behaved, and quietly furious about things that were not fair.The one who looked after everybody, including the adults.Good at things, and aware that this was how you were loved.Certain you were different, and unsure that was a good thing.In your room, with a book, working something out.

What do you do when you feel unsafe?

Achieve something, immediately. It is the only reliable cure.Go inward, and turn the feeling into something.Withdraw, gather information, and give nothing away.Look for the plan, the rule, or the person you can trust.Plan something exciting. The future fixes the present.

Pick the thought that is most familiar:

"I do not have enough of whatever this is going to require.""What is the worst version of this, and am I ready for it?""There is something better happening somewhere else.""If I am not in charge of this, somebody will take advantage.""It is easier if I simply go along with it."

What do you do with anger?

Don't notice it. There is always something better to think about.Use it. It is the cleanest fuel available.Nothing, for years, and then it comes out sideways.Suppress it, and become extremely correct with everybody.Turn it into hurt, and then into being even more helpful.

How do you know somebody loves you?

They do not need you to be any different.They tell you that you were right, and that it mattered.They need you, which is more or less the same thing.They admire you. It does have to be genuine.They see the actual you, rather than the presentable one.

What do you most want to avoid being?

The person nobody thinks to reach for.A failure, in front of people who mattered.Ordinary, in a way nobody would remember.Overwhelmed, with nothing left in reserve.Without support, at the moment it goes wrong.

Pick the thing that would hurt most:

Being told you are exactly like everybody else.Having your time and attention taken without being asked.Being let down by somebody you had decided to trust.Being trapped. In anything. For any length of time.Being made to feel small in front of people.

What do you do at the start of something new?

Work out who here is actually reliable.Get excited, and generate nine ideas nobody asked for.Work out who is in charge, and whether they ought to be.Wait, and find out what everybody else wants first.Notice everything that is already being done wrong.

What are you like under real pressure?

Blunter, faster, and considerably harder to argue with.Exactly the same, which is either reassuring or maddening.Tighter. Every standard goes up when things go wrong.More helpful, and slightly more hurt about it.More impressive, and much less available.